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krystalinereality
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Name: Katie
Location: Ohio
Birthday: 4/3/1983
Interests: photography, web design, classic books, music, penguins, relient K, lawn gnomes, *God*
Expertise: procrastinating, being an unemployed bum, anti-freud psych-major!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  lccg14
Yahoo:  krystalinereality
Member Since:
12/25/2004
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| It has been a looong time. Sorry about it. The one great thing about xanga is that I can update it anywhere- even work (my webpage editor is blocked by our dumb filter for some reason). Anyway, I'm working at a durable medical equipment company, processing their insurance claims. It's a lot of alphabetizing and not so much of anything else. I get really irritated with sitting at my desk for 4-5 hour spans, but most days there's literally nothing to do away from my desk. The wedding is in 1.5 months. How weird is that? I feel like Andrew proposed a couple of weeks ago. Luckily things are going well and I've managed to keep up with everything that needs to be done for it. I took my GREs, did well. I've moved on from putting off studying for the test, to procrastinating when it comes to actually applying to school. I know I should, it's just that there's the essays I have to write. I don't know if I'm putting too much emphasis on them in my head, or if it's just that I'm worried that I'm going to sound uninteresting and dull. Mostly the problem is that I have NO idea what exactly they're looking for in these essays. Do they really want to know why I want to be a counselor, or do they want to see how my writing skills are? There's other things it could be too... I just don't know and nothing really explains the purpose of them (that I can find) either. I need to get on top of it though, I want to be accepted before the wedding so I don't have to worry about that and I can just glide through the rest of July and August. Plus, I have the feeling that if I want an assistanceship at Walsh, I'll need to apply before everyone else and their brother decides they want to have one, too. My lips hurt. You know how it used to be that when I was really stressed I would break out in hives? Well, not to worry, that hasn't gone away, but something new has come about- my lips turn bright red, and a day later they begin to peel and generally just hurt. Nice, eh? Oh well, I have found that the best treatment for my unruly lips is Blistex medicated ointment. Nasty stuff... but at least it works and that's what counts. I just hope it doesn't decide to start acting up between July 5 and July 8. That would suck. | | |
| Still no job, but an interview tomorrow. Hopefully I won't botch it as
I did the last interview. I think that if this one sucks, I'm
going to apply to Wendy's. I don't want to, but I need to get my head
above water again.
It hit me last night that my GRE is in less than a month. I don't want
to suck at that either, so this post will be short so I can start
studying again.
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| As though Tuesday's list of my crappiness wasn't enough, let's add to it..
I ordered two less tickets for my youth group for the activity this
Saturday than I needed to. There's no ticket sales at the
door. THEN Pastor Rod called to inform me that the reciept for the said tickets was too much and should have been approved by the trustee board first. loverly.
That wasn't all he filled me in on. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that I
finally know the important information, it just sort of bothers me that
no one said anything until we had been going along doing our own thing
since May!
Yesterday I tried to navigate the confussing system known and Ohio
Unemployment... I was missing a paystub so I had to call the
accountants for the marina so they could send me a copy. Well,
the girl that I talked to each time on the phone was
less-than-pleasant. She treated me like I was an idiot and that I
was interupting her oh-so-important work (um, hello! you're a
receptionist- answering the phones and helping people IS YOUR
JOB). Then the lady that I talked to at Unemployment was acting
like everyone in Ohio knew how to do what I was trying to do and I was
dumb for not understanding some of the stuff that she was trying to
tell me. UGH.
I didn't sleep last night either.... and I had an interview at Office Team this morning (the ONE good thing that occured today).
Friday is the youth thing. I don't want to go. I don't want to do this
anymore. They are rude, disrespectful and I just can't stand to see
them being so cruel to one another. I have a hard time coming up with a
nice thing to say about the group after Wednesday night bible study has
concluded. Everyone keeps telling me that they're praying for us and
that we just need to hang in there, but I'm so tired. I feel like I'm
getting nowhere and that I can't even keep them under control.
There's about 7 of the 24 that attend that actually want to learn
something and the other holigans ruin it for them because I'm
constantly stopping to yell at someone for being an immature brat.
I feel like my life is slowly but surely falling apart. I don't
know when I'll be employed next, I feel tired and I just want to
quit. I had to buy a new wedding planner today... it wasn't until
I looked at all the pages again that I realized how much information
and ideas I really had lost. The guestlist was backed up on
computer, but that was the one thing that could have been pretty easily
recovered from my Mom and Linda anyway.
I'm having nightmares again.
Remember when you were little and you were really truly afraid of the
"monsters" that lived underneath your bed? When the lights go out
lately, I've had this terrible panic suddenly hit me that someone is
standing at the foot of my bed. It creeps me out... but lights make it
impossible for me to sleep.
Why am I such a wreck?
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| Aparently the feeling that I suck at life wasn't limited to only the time while I was enrolled in college.
I still don't have a job and in 2 weeks I owe about $100 for my student loan payments.
I'm probably going to lose my health insurance coverage too, so goodbye
medications that keep me hive-and-depression-free (not that the
depression this has really disappeared at this point, anyway, I guess)
I'm bored to death most of the day.
I managed to lose my wedding planner (with the ENTIRE guestlist, all my vendor contact info and my contracts) in it.
Out of the 60+ resumes I've sent out, only one resulted in an interview (which I totally bombed by-the-way).
I can't even manage to be hired in retail... I got a rejection postcard from Yankee Candle (ouch.)
Members of my family are experiencing serious health-related problems.
Members of Andrew's family are experiencing even worse health-related problems.
I spend most of my day feeling like a crappy person. Here I am, a
bride who's lost her wedding planner. A college graduate who
can't obtain employment and is freeloading off her parents because her
bank accounts are all but drained. I feel guilty everytime Andrew
pays for something, too. I seriously feel like crying most every
night. I don't feel like I'm doing anything in life right. I can't even lead the junior high youth group at church so that it's not bedlam every Wednesday night.
Can't life just be happy?
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| I don't have a job and it's driving me crazy. It's not so much that I have not much to do (I don't), but it is that I have no income and a bunch of bills to be paid. Prayers, please?
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